I WOKE UP A LONG TIME AGO

It was my first year of university and I had just been allocated to a bed space in a room up stairs in hostel B2, room 24. At that time, priority was never given to person's living with any form of disability hence, you have to figure out things for yourself if you live with disability. 

I didn't have a problem with my room position or so I thought because I was already trained and equipped to live an independent life. In my hostel, water doesn't run upstairs, the tap downstairs were the only ones functioning therefore, If I needed water to wash, bathe or cook with, I had to go downstairs to fetch some for myself.  

One Saturday, it was my room's turn to wash the bathroom. I woke up very early to do some personal washing and clean up. When I finished, my roommates were still sleeping. So I went ahead to wash the bathroom and toilet, had my shower and filled my buckets and jerrycans with water. 

I was on the last leg when my new roommate Adeline saw me and with a shocking look, the following conversation followed:

Adeline: When did you wake up? who filled all these buckets? why did't you call me, Pepe, Joy or Elohor to help you?

Me: Errr all this question for me? I do this things myself naa ( Adeline just moved into our room the night before) you are new so don't worry about me okay? IF I do need your help, I'll ask you. And by the way, I've also washed the bathroom and toilet, it's our turn today.

Adeline: What? you did that too? you strong oo
Adeline wasn't used to seeing my type and who can blame her? It wasn't normal to her hence her desire to help.

I'll try to answer Adeline's first question "When did you wake up?"

You see, I woke up a long time ago to the fact that I have to be independent to survive and succeed as an individual living with disability in this part of the world. 

I woke up to the fact that life is not fair and in life's race, you cannot depend on people solely and wholly.   

I woke up to not wanting to be constantly disappointed or frustrated by people because they know I cannot do without their help.
I woke up to the realization that having a disability wasn't by choice. life happened to me and I had no choice at all.

I woke up knowing that my disability is just 1%  aspect of my life the other 99% precedes, so I don't have to worry about 1%. That will be a total waste of my precious time. 

I woke up to the knowledge that disability is a complex health phenomenon not inability, an obstacle or a curse. 

I woke up to the fact that living with any form of disability in the part of the world where I live is a great challenge.
I woke up knowing that I will have difficulty accessing buildings, jobs, roads, health care etc. so I was already prepared to face man made barriers.

I woke up to a government that doesn't care nor are ready to protect the rights of person's with disabilities therefore I am my own army.

I woke up knowing that I will always have to prove myself no matter where I am because people just chose to see my disability first so I started preparing early.

I knew I would be bullied, shamed and disrespected so I built my self confidence, read anything and everything just to be well rounded and prepared to face anyone. Trust me, I'm on my guard bring it on.

I woke up knowing that other people would need to know how I did it. I went ahead and did it so I can inspire, mentor and be a role model to those still struggling on their journey.

I woke up knowing that disability is not enough to stop me.

I didn't just wake up to knowing and doing all this for myself, my parents especially my mum showed me how to be independent knowing that one day, I will live home to be on my own facing the world. She saw the future ahead of me. It wasn't a smooth journey because I resisted a lot of time but I'm glad her resilience paid off.

Are you a special needs mum, dad, sibling, family member? Independence training is the way to go. Talk your child through the process on why they need the training, show them how and walk the baby steps with them. It will pay off in the end.

Sometimes, it can be a lonely road to walk on because of the many challenges especially in the area of finance. Don't faint. Build a formidable support system and it will pay off in the end.

So yes! I woke up to reality a long time ago. If I hadn't woken up, I would have been a burden to a lot of people. 

P.S. This post is not for families or special needs individuals that 'cannot' help themselves at all or people who need 24/7 care. 

Please share your wake up experience with me. 

Love, Cakes & Peace.