THE BIRTHING OF A DREAM....

I love heels. I dream about wearing  beautiful stilettos and just strutting through the streets of life. Unfortunately, I can't  wear the kind of heels I envision in my head. You know what,  I can have children yes! I want a baby girl. I'd love to see her walk and do life in heels while I cheer.

I am not crazy thinking this way because it is this kind of thinking that has kept me  going. When a part of your life don't function as supposed, the other parts ultimately come alive. It is natural. 

I GREW UP IN THE MARKET.

Yes I did. 

I know so many children in my days that grew up in front of the television, in the living room. Some played different types of games after school etc.

Did I watch TV and play sometimes? Yes I did but most of my time as a teenager was spent in my parents shop.

After school, I'll branch off to the market. I will do all my school related work under the watchful eyes of my mother. After that, I'll change my dress and eat something. Next is to watch and sell.

My mom used to sell ladies ready made dresses, gowns, shirts and jackets etc. (she still does) at the popular mile 1 market in Portharcourt.

My parents had more than one shop then so, there's always this back and forth movement from one shop to another getting goods to satisfy a customer.

To some neighbors, it was wickedness to bring a special child like me into the busy market. To be honest, a lot of people didn't like it so their tongues wagged.

DISABILITY AND EMPLOYMENT DISCRIMINATION

Hey guys!

It is Monday and I am at work. This is not the case for thousands of qualified, trained and eligible adults of working age who live with one form of disability or the other in Nigeria. This is really sad just thinking about it. 

A lot go through my mind everyday and my heart goes out to this individuals who really want to work, be independent and pay their bills without depending on anyone but, can't find work because they are being discriminated because of their challenge. 

For those of us that do have jobs, we sometimes appear invincible in the workplace. Some employers feel they are doing you a lot of good by having you work for them therefore, it is a struggle to get paid premium for the job you do. 

This discrimination is a huge problem for people who live with evident physical impairment like wheelchair users, the blind, other aid users, people with facial disfigurement or those considered "ugly" or unpleasant to look at. 

We all know that employment discrimination is illegal. There are laws against it written on paper, companies, government establishments and organizations put out " equal opportunity employer"disclaimers but we all know where it all ends right?

People have been denied jobs based on their physical disability and those who eventually find one, can barely access the work environment due to barriers and sometimes, the environment can be a hostile place to be in. 

YOU ARE ADORABLE: OWN YOUR BEAUTY.

One of my best friends recently gave birth to a baby girl. She and her husband named their little princess "Adorable" ..... 

When she told me her daughters name, I rolled my eyes lol.... 'Na which person pekin wey no dey adorable' No I am not jealous .... lol ...  

Thinking about it now, I feel like we should all name our kids names that they can affirm to themselves and actually feel the positivity and energy in their name.

You see, we live in a world where we are being sold things from different channels to 'fix' what was not 'broken'. We are told and convinced that we are flawed and seemingly 'imperfect' and needs to be 'fixed'. 

Sadly, we find ourselves comparing ourselves to others rather than appreciate the life and the things we have. Are we really to be blamed? It's really difficult staying sane when all the various media outlets sell us are picture perfect beings. 

The truth is there is no amount of "perfection" that can make you happy with yourself if you are not already happy with yourself.

Find a way to appreciate and build a relationship with the parts of your body you have been taught to hate.

Focus on embracing, appreciating and loving the body you have because you are adorable. 

Own your beauty!

Love and Light.

Sharon xxx 

NOW THAT YOUR CHILD IS HERE PART 2.

When it comes to raising children with disabilities, each family's experience is different. It is different because the training, care and support will be dependent on the level of the severity of the child's disability. Once the level of disability is classed, clear and defined, it becomes a little easier to deal with. 

In my previous post, I talked about the emotions that comes with discovering knowing that all is not well with your child to raising a child living with disability. Emotionally, the situation affects everyone involved including the child. 

Now moving forward from when it is established that your child has a disability, setting a balance can sometimes be very challenging. On the road to independence, parents have to get the balance right for their child because they will not always be there for them. Remember, you did not get the chance to ask for what type of child come into your life neither the the child asked to be in yours. God chose to make that happen for all of you.

The life I live now is as a result of the map my parents drew up for me. The foundation they built and taught me to follow through and build on it. Had they not given me the right amount of support, I don't know where I'd be today. 

NOW THAT YOUR CHILD IS HERE. PART 1

Having a baby introduces you to a level of love that you would never have imagined however, having one who would depend on you for a lot of things doesn't feel like love or well it does but in a completely different way.

Having one with special needs means there is sometimes pain, hurt, guilt and moods that are deflated. It is hard for you as a parent as much as it is hard for the child who doesn't want to be cared for at a certain age but have no choice.

The moment you realize that your child is different, you become different yourself. You see yourself pretending for weeks, months and even years that every thing is 'normal'. It can be a lonely place to be as a parent. You can't get your head around it sometimes because you know that something is wrong.

Friends and family will always try to tell you that everything will be alright and that every child is different and so is their developmental abilities. These words are not so comforting so you cry, you ask why me and you go on to mourn your baby not because you've lost your child. 

EXCERPT FROM MY INTERVIEW WITH PUNCH NEWSPAPER.

It has taken me this long to post this here because I am still in awe. I am in awe because I never thought that a national daily ... like a popular widely read Nigerian national news paper would call me for an interview. Jesus did it. That is all I can say. 

My interview was published on the 10th of February 2018. This is the best valentines day gift is could ever ask for. 

If you are pursuing a course that is dear to your heart, don't stop. Sometimes, it may look like you are not making progress or not getting the recognition you feel you deserve, please don't stop. Keep doing what you are doing because someone somewhere is watching. Someone is learning, is being impacted and being blessed by your work. 

You may not know it but if you keep at it, one day you will smile. Your story will be told and the universe will thank you for not giving up. 

Below is the interview: 

Sharon Ifeoma is a Port Harcourt, Rivers State-based corporate trainer. Despite being afflicted by polio as a child, her drive to be a star has not slowed down. In this interview with Eric Dumo, she shares her life’s journey and things that motivate her

At what point in your life did you encounter polio?

According to my parents, I was only 10 months old when I was struck with polio. I had already started walking before it happened. It was not as if I was born with the condition.

What were some of the difficulties you faced at that stage of your life?

I can’t really tell because I was quite young then. I’m sure there were challenges but to be honest, I can’t really remember much of the happenings back then. It’s a long time ago.

How did the other children relate with you as a result of your disability? 

I WOKE UP A LONG TIME AGO

It was my first year of university and I had just been allocated to a bed space in a room up stairs in hostel B2, room 24. At that time, priority was never given to person's living with any form of disability hence, you have to figure out things for yourself if you live with disability. 

I didn't have a problem with my room position or so I thought because I was already trained and equipped to live an independent life. In my hostel, water doesn't run upstairs, the tap downstairs were the only ones functioning therefore, If I needed water to wash, bathe or cook with, I had to go downstairs to fetch some for myself.  

One Saturday, it was my room's turn to wash the bathroom. I woke up very early to do some personal washing and clean up. When I finished, my roommates were still sleeping. So I went ahead to wash the bathroom and toilet, had my shower and filled my buckets and jerrycans with water. 

I was on the last leg when my new roommate Adeline saw me and with a shocking look, the following conversation followed:

Adeline: When did you wake up? who filled all these buckets? why did't you call me, Pepe, Joy or Elohor to help you?

Me: Errr all this question for me? I do this things myself naa ( Adeline just moved into our room the night before) you are new so don't worry about me okay? IF I do need your help, I'll ask you. And by the way, I've also washed the bathroom and toilet, it's our turn today.

Adeline: What? you did that too? you strong oo
Adeline wasn't used to seeing my type and who can blame her? It wasn't normal to her hence her desire to help.

I'll try to answer Adeline's first question "When did you wake up?"

PEACE! FIND YOUR OWN PEACE.

In our quest to be seen, noticed and known in a world that seem to be moving in speed light, we lose our peace. In pursuit of happiness, validation and peace of mind, we end up lowering our values.

Can I just tell you that the peace you seek is within you? Always has been. Always will be. 

Stop faking happiness because real happiness can be recognized and felt even from afar. Don't be caught up 'trying to look happy', it will only stop you from actually forgetting to be being happy. 

Stop dancing around other peoples idea's of happiness. Some of those type of happiness was created so you can project them into your life and use them as standards. Is this not why you lose your peace?

They sold you this lie to make you feel 'inadequate', not 'well enough', 'invalid',..... 

Can I just say you are 'well enough?' as a matter of fact, you my darling are 'enough'.

Stop having a headache over noting and find your own PEACE!.

It's a new month guys. Go out and be. 

Love, light & peace.  

AWFUL BEAUTIFUL RE-ACTIONS

It was a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon I had just finished from church but needed to drink something to quench my thirst. I walked into a restaurant close by and ordered a glass of Chapman. Seated and sipping on my drink while going through my phone smiling sheepishly at the photos on Facebook, I heard someone say hello beautiful.  

I quickly raised my head to see who it was and before I could say jack, he grabbed a chair and sat down facing me smiling. What caught my eyes was his beautiful dentition, bald head and bearded face (I'm not a fan of beards by the way) lol.

We got talking and the conversation was smooth and beautiful. We covered a  range of topics from religion to politics, education to family etc. Intelligent and well rounded guy I must say. At some point, he offered to buy me food and top up my glass but, I politely declined. Independent woman things he exclaimed and we both laughed. 

I liked him instantly but my thoughts drifted to something else.

I'm pressed and in need of the bathroom. I didn't know what to do. Should I get up or just let him leave before going to the bathroom? 

What will his re-actions be when I get up? Does he know I have a disability? Did he see when I walked into the restaurant? Will he walk away like others in disappointment?

Is this it? I hate being in this situation because I'm always at war with my thoughts. 

BEAUTIFUL REMINDER

Hey guys!!!

Happy new year!

So this year, I have decided to share more things that inspire people here and on my social media handle. I shared this on my Facebook page and thought it won't be nice to leave you guys out. So enjoy!

I don't remember not living with these babies (my legs). They are a beautiful reminder of God's faithfulness, love and grace.

This is not what every day normal looks like neither does it represent the word *perfect*.

I can't live without these babies no matter how hard I try. My doctor in the UK once recommended i undergo some procedures to enable me walk better. I said thank you sir and ran for my life biko.

This is normal to me. It is my normal.

You see, scars are uncomfortable. However, they are a beautiful reminder of where we've been, what we've been through, they show how strong and resilient we are.

Scars and imperfections drive our hunger for better. They fuel your thoughts about life good, bad and ugly. Scars are life's testaments.