PERFECTION IS TAILOR MADE

I visited a friend during the festive period and she offered to serve me rice of which I obliged.  The question that followed made me smile.

"Sharon how do you like your rice"?

How thoughtful? No one has ever asked to know how I like my rice. You see there are certain things I like a certain way. I am sure I'm not alone on this path.

How you like your bath water, tea, beans, rice, style, men, women, movies, music, business, colour......etc. Is different to someone else's.

You tailor make your preferences to suit what is perfect for you. Now my question is,  why do you now worry and brude over someone doesn't like your "tailor made perfect"?

THE BIRTHING OF A DREAM....

I love heels. I dream about wearing  beautiful stilettos and just strutting through the streets of life. Unfortunately, I can't  wear the kind of heels I envision in my head. You know what,  I can have children yes! I want a baby girl. I'd love to see her walk and do life in heels while I cheer.

I am not crazy thinking this way because it is this kind of thinking that has kept me  going. When a part of your life don't function as supposed, the other parts ultimately come alive. It is natural. 

I GREW UP IN THE MARKET.

Yes I did. 

I know so many children in my days that grew up in front of the television, in the living room. Some played different types of games after school etc.

Did I watch TV and play sometimes? Yes I did but most of my time as a teenager was spent in my parents shop.

After school, I'll branch off to the market. I will do all my school related work under the watchful eyes of my mother. After that, I'll change my dress and eat something. Next is to watch and sell.

My mom used to sell ladies ready made dresses, gowns, shirts and jackets etc. (she still does) at the popular mile 1 market in Portharcourt.

My parents had more than one shop then so, there's always this back and forth movement from one shop to another getting goods to satisfy a customer.

To some neighbors, it was wickedness to bring a special child like me into the busy market. To be honest, a lot of people didn't like it so their tongues wagged.

DISABILITY AND EMPLOYMENT DISCRIMINATION

Hey guys!

It is Monday and I am at work. This is not the case for thousands of qualified, trained and eligible adults of working age who live with one form of disability or the other in Nigeria. This is really sad just thinking about it. 

A lot go through my mind everyday and my heart goes out to this individuals who really want to work, be independent and pay their bills without depending on anyone but, can't find work because they are being discriminated because of their challenge. 

For those of us that do have jobs, we sometimes appear invincible in the workplace. Some employers feel they are doing you a lot of good by having you work for them therefore, it is a struggle to get paid premium for the job you do. 

This discrimination is a huge problem for people who live with evident physical impairment like wheelchair users, the blind, other aid users, people with facial disfigurement or those considered "ugly" or unpleasant to look at. 

We all know that employment discrimination is illegal. There are laws against it written on paper, companies, government establishments and organizations put out " equal opportunity employer"disclaimers but we all know where it all ends right?

People have been denied jobs based on their physical disability and those who eventually find one, can barely access the work environment due to barriers and sometimes, the environment can be a hostile place to be in. 

YOU ARE ADORABLE: OWN YOUR BEAUTY.

One of my best friends recently gave birth to a baby girl. She and her husband named their little princess "Adorable" ..... 

When she told me her daughters name, I rolled my eyes lol.... 'Na which person pekin wey no dey adorable' No I am not jealous .... lol ...  

Thinking about it now, I feel like we should all name our kids names that they can affirm to themselves and actually feel the positivity and energy in their name.

You see, we live in a world where we are being sold things from different channels to 'fix' what was not 'broken'. We are told and convinced that we are flawed and seemingly 'imperfect' and needs to be 'fixed'. 

Sadly, we find ourselves comparing ourselves to others rather than appreciate the life and the things we have. Are we really to be blamed? It's really difficult staying sane when all the various media outlets sell us are picture perfect beings. 

The truth is there is no amount of "perfection" that can make you happy with yourself if you are not already happy with yourself.

Find a way to appreciate and build a relationship with the parts of your body you have been taught to hate.

Focus on embracing, appreciating and loving the body you have because you are adorable. 

Own your beauty!

Love and Light.

Sharon xxx 

NOW THAT YOUR CHILD IS HERE PART 2.

When it comes to raising children with disabilities, each family's experience is different. It is different because the training, care and support will be dependent on the level of the severity of the child's disability. Once the level of disability is classed, clear and defined, it becomes a little easier to deal with. 

In my previous post, I talked about the emotions that comes with discovering knowing that all is not well with your child to raising a child living with disability. Emotionally, the situation affects everyone involved including the child. 

Now moving forward from when it is established that your child has a disability, setting a balance can sometimes be very challenging. On the road to independence, parents have to get the balance right for their child because they will not always be there for them. Remember, you did not get the chance to ask for what type of child come into your life neither the the child asked to be in yours. God chose to make that happen for all of you.

The life I live now is as a result of the map my parents drew up for me. The foundation they built and taught me to follow through and build on it. Had they not given me the right amount of support, I don't know where I'd be today. 

NOW THAT YOUR CHILD IS HERE. PART 1

Having a baby introduces you to a level of love that you would never have imagined however, having one who would depend on you for a lot of things doesn't feel like love or well it does but in a completely different way.

Having one with special needs means there is sometimes pain, hurt, guilt and moods that are deflated. It is hard for you as a parent as much as it is hard for the child who doesn't want to be cared for at a certain age but have no choice.

The moment you realize that your child is different, you become different yourself. You see yourself pretending for weeks, months and even years that every thing is 'normal'. It can be a lonely place to be as a parent. You can't get your head around it sometimes because you know that something is wrong.

Friends and family will always try to tell you that everything will be alright and that every child is different and so is their developmental abilities. These words are not so comforting so you cry, you ask why me and you go on to mourn your baby not because you've lost your child.