PARENTING A CHILD WITH DISABILITY ... PART 2

"How your children turn out says more about your parenting skills than about their struggles, genes or disability" - Sharon Ifeoma

If you have a child with any form of disability like other millions of parents in various parts of the world, you are not alone. Emotions ranging from anger, guilt, confusion, fear, pain, grief, loss, disappointment, rejections, questions, powerlessness etc. as seen here flood your heart. There are many kinds of resources out there to help you along the way and through difficult phase and process. Here are some tips for parents:

• School yourself as much as possible about your child's disability: Read about the disability there are so many resources online and off line, don't be afraid to ask questions especially clarifications from the doctors on medical terminologies, diagnosis, reports and evaluations on your child. Study your child's progress and keep notes of them. Don't leave the job totally to the doctors.
• Start early or as soon as you notice that something is wrong: Early intervention is key when addressing the needs of a disabled child. The sooner these issues are addressed, the better the outcome.
• Seek assistance from other parents: There are people who have walked on the shoes you are walking on right now. Find them, they will tell you what to do at every point and they will be of great help, support and value to you. There is always something they know that you do not know. There's also room for one-to-one emotional support and bonding.
• Open up to people: Talk to your family members about your special child and his/her needs. Communicating certain crucial information about your child's health challenge will help give people the courage to treat your child right. Don't make the mistake of assuming that they know, it is your job to school people. Don't be afraid to show emotions and don't close up emotionally too. Communicate your fears and worries to trusted family and friends and don't forget to ask for help when you need one. There is nothing to hide or be ashamed of. 
• Keep it real: Life happens to people differently and your's is not an exception. There are certain things we cannot change in our lives and staying in touch with this truth helps accept life the way it is. In the mist of all of this, you owe it as a duty to yourself to take care of yourself, take short breaks, eat well, rely on other's for emotional support. Don't forget to deal with self pity and pity for your child as this can be disabling. I will encourage you to have empathy for your child which is the ability to feel with other people.
• Find programs for your child: There are organizations, hospitals, and individuals that organize programs and render services that will be beneficial and of assistance to your child's needs, find out how you can access them in the area where you live. There are also programs that support and assist families and friends of disabled children.
• It is your child; Don't ever forget that: Your child's learning and developmental challenge may be different from that of other children, It doesn't make him/her less important, human, valuable, lovable or less your child. Love and enjoy your child because this person is first and foremost YOUR CHILD! Put your child first before the disability.
• You are definitely not alone: Lot's of parent's have been where you are right now and many will be after you so, understanding that you are not alone will help you handle that feeling of isolation better. Be strong for your child knowing that you are not alone.    

Finally, Pray for your child/ren, be involved in their lives, accept and love them unconditionally, give unfailing encouragement whether they win or lose, make you feel good or embarrass you. Let them know that you will never reject them no matter what happens.

If you need additional help and information on the subject matter, please contact me.

Sharonxxx