COPING WITH DISABILITY

Change always happen in life but change isn't the best or easiest thing to deal with in life. It is however, more important to focus on what's best for you in any given circumstance. Having said that, coming to terms with a disability or illness as an individual or a parent is not easy. The change whether sever or mild can take a toll on the individual's live and that of the people surrounding them. 

When an individual who seems to have it all going well for them. Great family, job, friends, business, dreams and aspirations, career, great life etc. become ill or have been in an accident that changed their lives completely, a lot of things can go wrong. Here, the individuals experience physically and emotionally will affect everyone around him/her. It will affect the core of how the individuals being, his/her family, and the way everything will function.

There are very few resources out here to help individuals, families as well as care givers cope with disability. It is hard enough to have a disability but here are a few points to help you live life to the full.

• Grieve and let go of all the emotions. One of the things I struggled with was my emotions. I thought I could hide how I felt about my disability thereby keeping a lot in and that didn't help me at all. I gradually became very angry, depressed and bitter about everything and everyone. I felt no one would understand how I felt in and about my body so I refused to talk about my disability. It was a real struggle especially in my teenage years. The process of accepting your disability or illness can be long but you will get there if you let all the emotions out and really express how you feel on the inside and about your struggles. Feeling sorry for yourself won't get you anywhere, it will only delay the healing process. Think about the things you an still do to enjoy life because there's a lot you can do. Accept the new YOU! nurture, love and be kind to yourself, get professional help by talking to a counselor/therapist, connect and network with people in similar situation, exercise your mind and body, design a new career path for yourself and most importantly, focus on you strengths and look beyond your weaknesses.  

• Redesign your lifestyle. Your life has changed and so should your lifestyle. From organizing and re-organizing your home to your relationships with family and others to practicing new ways to getting things done, and generally readjusting and settling into your new life. It's time to figure out how to live the rest of your life really. You may need assistive device to help you get around and make work and life much easier. In the process of all of this, you will loose people. People will be mean, insensitive and unkind to you, you will be unnecessarily pitied and some will find the new you embarrassing, abuse your human right and dignity but stay focused and determined to live life to the full. Politely educate and guide people on how to address, behave and act around you, make feel relaxed and show love. At the end of the day, life generally is not fair.

• You need all the help you can get. For someone who had their own thing going before things turned, it can be difficult to accept help. Let me tell you, you can't do life at this point without support YOU NEED lot's of support from family and friends. Ask for and get help with things when you do need them and politely turn down helps that you don't need at the end of the day, not all help is good help. By seeking and getting help, you are eliminating certain unwanted stress from your life as stress can contribute to worsening your illness or disability. Find time to relax and DE-clutter your mind from any form of negativity and DON'T forget to take your medication. Pray ... pray ... pray. I cannot over emphasize the importance of prayer. Prayer gets you through the tough times, it gives you faith and hope for a better tomorrow. It brings about miracles and provides you with supernatural strength to do life.

• You are not alone. Just as you are coming to terms with your new life, someone somewhere just got out of theirs and some other person has just gotten a bad news too. So you see, you are not alone. Reach out to others in similar situation, connect and network with them and their families, build a bond and become a community this way you can help and motivate each other. 

I hope you found this helpful and inspiring. Celebrate every progress made on your journey to recovery and self acceptance. You might not have had control over your situation but you have to make a conscious decision to live each day with joy. 

NOTE: These tips are a few of many. Sometimes, coping or adjusting into your new life is tailored to individual pace, type of disability and the severity of the disability. Please contact me if you need further advice. 

Love yourself, embrace your new status and live!!!     

Sharonxx