Hiiiiiiiiii
That's a very long Hi abi? Any way, Today I want to talk about body image wahala lol. You see this photo right here, this was taken back in 2012. I was paid to go to one of the best schools in the world, lived in one of the best apartment in the city center with a beautiful view, I had my own money such that I could buy whatever I wanted, travel and do other stuff. I was working and had love in my life. I was living the life some people my age at the time only dream of. BUT! it was one of the lowest and saddest time of my life.
I was depressed, sad and I was eating myself to death (comfort eating .... food addiction) whatever you call it lol. Before I got this big, I didn't know how big I had gotten until I posted a photo of mine on Face-book and people started trolling me saying all sorts of things without considering that something might be wrong with me. See people don't really care. They see you in person or in pictures, body shame you, say what they want to say and leave you hurting for a long time. Save yourself darling pay no attention.
You see, my dad was sick. very sick and my family were keeping details away from me, I was lonely, home sick and my grades were dropping rapidly and to make matters worse, it was difficult for me to confide in anyone around confidently about how I was feeling inside. So I ran to food like a lot of us do and made food my best friend because she made me sane and happy.
My weight is not the problem here because I can get it to be where I want it to be. However, I have struggled with the way my body look I admit. I never considered that I live with the effect of polio. The most embarrassing part is how slim my right leg is and how how frustrating it is finding the right clothes and shoes that fits to wear. Shopping for what to wear is a constant reminder of my reality.
Since I became self aware, my teenage years which was the most challenging by the way, I avoid wearing things that show off my leg, I avoid taking full portrait photo of myself etc. Don't get me wrong. My self-esteem is great, I am assertive and I am very confident with the fact that I am a beautiful woman BUT, I have always felt that it is best to hide my frailty behind clothes and project more of my personality and wisdom to compensate my looks. However, self consciousness about my leg was always with me.
My leg had and have never been a barrier to finding love however, I am always overthinking things and doubting if the person is really here for me, if they really love me with all they see, if they can stoop to conquer their family, friends and society to totally accepting and being with me. I worry about this but then I see some people who have it worse find love, get married and have children and I wonder how they did it. I guess I just need the man to look me in the eye and tell me, Sharon it's okay. I love you and I am here to stay let's concentrate on other things. I don't even know lol
In order to better appreciate myself and the way I look, I did something I have never done before. I took photos of myself from different angle. Looking at the pictures I have taken, I was beautifully surprised at the beauty that is my body. It was a great feeling. What I saw from multiple angles was not at all repulsive. What I saw was asymmetrical artistry.
If I am not living with the effects of polio, I am quite certain that I would have a "traditional" perfect body in every sense of it. I might have flaws but I am mentally and physically fit. I don't play with my health.
Please do not allow a scar, disability, disfigurement, weight or what people say about your appearance affect and impact on the quality and enjoyment of your life. Sometimes, it might be impossible to change your body so I will advice that you find comfort in your own distinctive beauty.
Every individual have something they are not comfortable with in their body. Some conceal with makeup, clothes, surgeries and in other ways. Find your own kind of beauty ...Love your body .. Be your own kind of beautiful and OWN IT.
I am comfortable with my body and I am in a happy place. I can help you re-think beauty.
Please share with us the things you don't like about your body.
Love .. Peace .. Cakes
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