The
other day I was coaching Emily, a bright and self-aware woman who's recently
stepped up to a very big plate--she wants to take her business to the next
level. Her decision holds the potential
for many rich and fulfilling rewards, but also contains a rather steep learning
curve, an increase in pressure and of course much higher stakes.
Interestingly enough, as she meets her days
with passion and excitement, she also notices an increase in how easily she
gets triggered and upset by seemingly mundane events that throw her off and
make her constantly question her ability to succeed.
Emily
is a consultant who works in the education system, but she's also single and
very much wants to be in a long-term relationship. When immersed in her work with others, all
she seems to notice is how happy and successfully married her co-workers
are. Then she feels jealous, and begins
to question her life, as if she's "missed the boat."
When
she was describing her experience to me and musing about how painfully
distracting it was, she asked me, "What do you think the universe is
trying to tell me?"
I
then proceeded to take a very deep breath and respond. I said, "The universe . . . well, not
exactly. I think it's your
life." Then I told her that while
it might make it easier to blame her confused feelings on a booming message
from the universe, I thought it was her life speaking to her.
I
firmly believe every day; your life does speak to you, sometimes in quiet ways,
and sometimes like a 2 X 4 on the head.
In Emily's case, I think some older part of her wants permission to
abandon her audacious dream of an international career and focus instead on
finding the relationship that her childhood, and culture taught her would be
her ultimate fulfilment. Poised on the
brink of success, understandably Emily is scared.
Learning
to listen to your life offers you the gift of valuable feedback from a very
reliable source: YOU! The art of life is to discern what the
information means and what to do with it.
The opportunity for Emily is to examine her fears, her old beliefs and
what's getting in her way--not to get caught up believing one choice over the
other, marriage over career, or career over marriage is the answer.
Ultimately,
Emily has to find her own answers about what her life is telling her, as do we
all. I believe being courageous enough
to ask the question creates the foundation we need in our lives to be
successful on all levels. So, what is
your life telling you?
It's
YOUR life . . . imagine the possibilities!
Helaine Iris.
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