GRIEVING THE LIVING

"Grieving is a Multifaceted Response to Lose.... it is Physical, Emotional, Social ...."

Each time Mum returns home from a hospital visit, she changes to a complete different person. She cries a lot, talks to herself, the sky and anyone around, prays and she would ask questions that makes sense and those that really do not make any sense. My Mum is "grieving the living" ...... My aunt has been very sick for a while now and it's a little complicated. She's been moved from one hospital to another, different test has been carried out, seen by specialist doctors and money .... loads of money have also been spent and well she is still at the hospital and all we family can do is HOPE and pray.

Seeing my Mum grieve her living sister is very unconventional. It's not a situation people often pay attention to or talk about but, if we look deeper, it's happening in our society. It is a real issue faced by real people.

It doesn't make sense to grieve to grieve someone you haven't lost yet as death is often seen as the prerequisite for grieve However, we forget or don't pay attention to individuals who grieve their living loved ones because they are either in pain or helpless / hopeless situation. The situation is like watching your loved one slip away and there is nothing you can do about it.

My mum Pretends like everything is alright in the presence of her sister whereas, her heart screams in pain when she comes home. This is an unconventional way of grieving a loved one that is caused by so many factors:

- Aging
- Mental health illness
- Chronic pain
- Disability
- Brain injury
- Vegetable state

The grieving get's worse when your loved one slowly becomes different to you ..... you can no longer recognize or interact with them like you used to. At this point if care is not taken, you will begin to wish them dead instead of reliving memories created.

Grief can be very overwhelming but you have to learn to swim through the process and nobody should have to condem you on how you choose to grieve or repair your heart because no one can for sure tell how deep you are hurting. Heal at your own pace because recovery takes TIME!!!

Grieve Someone Alive By:

- Allow yourself grieve
- Accept the situation
- Relieve memories
- Connect with the individual
- The person is not the illness
- Spend as much time as possible with the person
- Your feelings are valid

You may experience many emotions when grieving. It can be confusing, guilty, angry ...... just a mix of emotions. Please allow yourself go through the grieving process but please don't stay there for too long.

Are you grieving the living or have been there before?
How did you deal with the situation? Please share.

Love, Cakes and Hugs........ Sharonxxx