Happy couple: On numerous occasions people have asked Shane Burcaw if his able-bodied girlfriend Anna Reinalda was his nurse or his sister while they are on dates together. |
For one
22-year-old man in a wheelchair, dates with his beautiful girlfriend prompt a
depressingly familiar question: 'Is that your nurse?' Columnist and author
Shane Burcaw suffers from Spinal Muscular Atrophy, a genetic disorder that
causes the nerve cells responsible for controlling his body's muscle to deteriorate.
Burcaw, who has been in a wheelchair since he was three-years-old, has been in
a healthy relationship with Anna Reinalda for months, something that strangers
have a hard time processing at first glance.
Burcaw,
who has a blog called Laughing at My Nightmare and a book with the same name he
published last fall, wrote a blog published by The Morning Call which details a
few of the social misconceptions people have about his disorder. On numerous
occasions people have asked Burcaw if his able-bodied girlfriend Anna Reinalda
was his nurse or his sister.
If I saw
two young people out having a nice meal together,' Burcaw writes, 'I would
probably assume that they were dating. This, however, does not seem to be the
assumption people make when you throw a wheelchair into the picture.
He and
his girlfriend often come up with humorous responses to people's questions
about their relationship.
My
girlfriend has been asked if she was my nurse. We've gotten used to this
bizarre, recurring question, and often find ways to poke fun at their
ignorance,' he writes.
The
couple has a few hilarious and well-rehearsed comebacks up their sleeves.
He's my
dad,' Anna Reinalda will sometimes answer.
I just
pay her to be my friend,' Burcaw adds.
The nerve
condition has absolutely no effect on his ability to have a sexual
relationship, but Burcaw explains that because of his condition he once
believed he wasn't worthy of romantic affection.
He once
thought that if a girl were to go out on a date with him that she must be doing
it out of pity.
Luckily,
he was wrong.
'Then
college came and my brain opened up to the real truth. I met some spectacular
people who helped me shake the notion that love was only for the
physically-abled,' writes Burcaw in his heart warming essay.
'Sure, I
can't hold hands in the traditional sense, but we make it work. To be fair, our
fingers look like a catastrophic train wreck once they are intertwined in the
precise position that I can manage. I can't pick her up in my car, but so what?
She enjoys driving and so we make it work,' he writes with humour. Not only can
disabled people in relationships have a strong bond, he believes the union may
be even better than relationships between two able-bodied people.
'Today, I
live with the firm belief that an able/disabled relationship can be even more
satisfying than your average romance,' he writes.
Each
partner takes an extra step in learning the way in which to literally care for
one another.
Burcaw
describes his first date with Anna in which she learned the ways she'd need to
help him with tasks when they were together.
He though
she might be turned off by the notion of cutting his meatloaf and helping him
take sips of his drink.
She
promised Burcaw she was excited to learn about the ways she could assist him.
'There is
something profoundly intimate about a promise like that. On my end, I felt a
deep sense of serenity that could only be attributed to trusting her with my
care,' he writes. Even though his relationship may seem bizarre to strangers
who observe him, to him it seems perfectly natural.
'That is
why I get confused when strangers assume that she isn't my girlfriend, because
to us it has always seemed so normal. It is fun and it is silly and it is beautiful,
and we never think twice about the fact that our relationship is abnormal in
any way,' he writes.
'We
simply make it work,' he concludes.
To view more of Shane's work, go here
Love is a beautiful thing...... Disabled people are lovable ......you really can't tell your heart whom to love can you? True love knows no bound, sees no wrong and is limitless.
Kisses....
Kisses....
Are you kidding me?wow!I am speechless.
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Haha Bola please don be. they are in love and that's all that matters.
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