Friday, 26 June 2015

REFUSE TO BE DEFINED BY YOUR CIRCUMSTANCE.

Moments after she was born Dawn Shaw was rushed to theater for an emergency operation after doctors noticed she couldn't breathe. They discovered a tumor was growing, lodged near her windpipe. Within months of removing the mass, it reappeared, wrapping itself around her jaw bone.

Fearing the growth would become cancerous, specialists had no choice but to remove part of Mrs Shaw's jaw. The operation caused misalignment to her face, as well as hearing loss and partial paralysis. After a series of corrective operations, the 48-year-old has vowed to have no further reconstruction.

Having gone through a series of corrective operations, Mrs Shaw has vowed not to have any further surgery, after suffering complications during one procedures and ending up in intensive care at the age of 21
Despite being the victim of cruel taunts and ridicule her whole life, Mrs Shaw said she is perfect as she is.
'If somebody came up to me and said they could fix me tomorrow, I wouldn't want them to,' she said.  'I don't let my appearance define me.

'The human face is always the first thing we notice about a person we meet, so having a face that is physically different has definitely changed the way the world perceives me, which in turn affects my view of the world.  'While I've had plenty of struggles, I've had triumphs as well.
'Though acceptance has taken time, I do not allow what some would consider a deformity to stop me from enjoying life.' After a string of attempts at corrective surgery, Mrs Shaw has been put off any further operations after complications during one procedure resulted in her being admitted to intensive care when she was just 21. 'I woke up with a tube down my throat and so much swelling in my face,' she said.
'For years, I was under the illusion surgeons could fix me, but eventually the benefits of surgery stopped outweighing the emotional damage it was doing to me.' Throughout school Mrs Shaw, of Grapeview in Washington, US, said her appearance made her the target of cruel taunts.
'I've blocked a lot of it out, but I remember one kid who'd wait for me after school and ask me how I could stand to look at myself,' she said. Yes, I have been mocked, stared at and avoided. But I've also been loved and protected, and never lost faith that eventually I would find somebody who could look past my face  'When I walked past, boys would nudge their friends and say, "There goes your girlfriend," as if to say being linked to me was in insult, or that I'd never find a boyfriend of my own. 'But I'm resilient, and although their words did hurt I still had confidence in myself, my personality and my abilities. 'Plus, I had a fantastic support system. My parents took me out into the world a lot growing up.
'You read of people who never leave the house and it's so sad. 'If people want to be judgmental, that's their problem, not that of the person on the receiving end of it. However, she grew frustrated in her search for love, and found herself trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship in her 20s. 'I allowed myself to become co-dependent to a drug addict,' she said. 'I threw myself at him even though he had no real interest in me. 'I had this false idea that I could fix him.'
After being in an abusive relationship in her 20s, Mrs Shaw met her husband Ian and the couple will celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary in September. She said: 'If somebody came up to me and said they could fix me tomorrow, I wouldn't want them to. I don't let my appearance define me'
Eventually, Mrs Shaw broke free and met her now husband Ian Shaw a year later when they both worked on a community theatre production. The pair will celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary in September. Mrs Shaw has always been a keen writer, and in 2005, she was inspired to pen her life story.
Her book, Facing Up To It, charts her journey from craving acceptance to finally accepting herself. While writing she also began to deliver speeches to schools to encourage children not to become preoccupied with appearance. 'It's about learning to be kind to yourself,' she said. 'Everybody needs to be around people who respect them. 'I talk a lot about bullying in my speeches and try to get anybody going through it to fight that fear that telling somebody will make it worse and find the strength to speak out.
'There are several forms of bullying. Excluding and shunning somebody is just as cruel as teasing and taunting them.  'It's not hard to smile at someone and ask how they are, but it can make the world of difference to somebody in a bad place.'
Mrs Shaw also believes it is important to build self-esteem through activities and hobbies. For her, this is tending to her Icelandic horses – although she also holds a black belt in martial arts. She is also campaigning against the use of the word 'disfigurement', calling for 'facially different' to be used instead.
Reflecting on her story, Mrs Shaw said: 'People often call me brave, which I accept as a compliment, but it puzzles me. 'I am pretty sure they are referring to that fact that I go out into the world with a face that looks like mine, but how is that brave?  'It is all I have known, and besides, what's the alternative? Hiding myself away?
'Perhaps they assume that I must deal with stares, questions, comments and taunts on a daily basis. I do experience these things periodically, but certainly not daily.
'That certainly would put a damper on getting through each day, but even then, we learn to adjust. I just live my life.' 
Dawn Shaw, 48, was born with a tumour growing around her windpipe forcing doctors to remove part of her jaw bone

Wow!!! Very inspiring story. Culled.

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