Moments after she was born Dawn Shaw was rushed to theater
for an emergency operation after doctors noticed she couldn't breathe. They
discovered a tumor was growing, lodged near her windpipe. Within months of
removing the mass, it reappeared, wrapping itself around her jaw bone.
Fearing the growth would become cancerous, specialists had
no choice but to remove part of Mrs Shaw's jaw. The operation caused
misalignment to her face, as well as hearing loss and partial paralysis. After
a series of corrective operations, the 48-year-old has vowed to have no further
reconstruction.
Despite being the victim of cruel taunts and ridicule her
whole life, Mrs Shaw said she is perfect as she is.
'If somebody came up
to me and said they could fix me tomorrow, I wouldn't want them to,' she
said. 'I don't let my appearance define
me.
'The human face is always the first thing we notice about a
person we meet, so having a face that is physically different has definitely changed
the way the world perceives me, which in turn affects my view of the
world. 'While I've had plenty of struggles, I've had triumphs as well.
'Though acceptance has taken time, I do not allow what some
would consider a deformity to stop me from enjoying life.' After a string of
attempts at corrective surgery, Mrs Shaw has been put off any further
operations after complications during one procedure resulted in her being
admitted to intensive care when she was just 21. 'I woke up with a tube down my
throat and so much swelling in my face,' she said.
'For years, I was under the illusion surgeons could fix me,
but eventually the benefits of surgery stopped outweighing the emotional damage
it was doing to me.' Throughout school Mrs Shaw, of Grapeview in Washington,
US, said her appearance made her the target of cruel taunts.
'I've blocked a lot of it out, but I remember one kid who'd
wait for me after school and ask me how I could stand to look at myself,' she
said. Yes, I have been mocked, stared at and avoided. But I've also been loved
and protected, and never lost faith that eventually I would find somebody who
could look past my face 'When I walked
past, boys would nudge their friends and say, "There goes your
girlfriend," as if to say being linked to me was in insult, or that I'd never
find a boyfriend of my own. 'But I'm resilient, and although their words did
hurt I still had confidence in myself, my personality and my abilities. 'Plus,
I had a fantastic support system. My parents took me out into the world a lot
growing up.
'You read of people who never leave the house and it's so
sad. 'If people want to be judgmental, that's their problem, not that of the
person on the receiving end of it. However, she grew frustrated in her search
for love, and found herself trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship in
her 20s. 'I allowed myself to become co-dependent to a drug addict,' she said.
'I threw myself at him even though he had no real interest in me. 'I had this
false idea that I could fix him.'
Eventually, Mrs Shaw broke free and met her now husband Ian
Shaw a year later when they both worked on a community theatre production. The
pair will celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary in September. Mrs Shaw has
always been a keen writer, and in 2005, she was inspired to pen her life story.
Her book, Facing Up To It, charts her journey from craving
acceptance to finally accepting herself. While writing she also began to
deliver speeches to schools to encourage children not to become preoccupied
with appearance. 'It's about learning to be kind to yourself,' she said.
'Everybody needs to be around people who respect them. 'I talk a lot about
bullying in my speeches and try to get anybody going through it to fight that
fear that telling somebody will make it worse and find the strength to speak
out.
'There are several forms of bullying. Excluding and shunning
somebody is just as cruel as teasing and taunting them. 'It's not hard to smile at someone and ask
how they are, but it can make the world of difference to somebody in a bad
place.'
Mrs Shaw also believes it is important to build self-esteem through
activities and hobbies. For her, this is tending to her Icelandic horses –
although she also holds a black belt in martial arts. She is also campaigning
against the use of the word 'disfigurement', calling for 'facially different'
to be used instead.
Reflecting on her story, Mrs Shaw said: 'People often call
me brave, which I accept as a compliment, but it puzzles me. 'I am pretty sure
they are referring to that fact that I go out into the world with a face that
looks like mine, but how is that brave? 'It
is all I have known, and besides, what's the alternative? Hiding myself away?
'Perhaps they assume that I must deal with stares,
questions, comments and taunts on a daily basis. I do experience these things
periodically, but certainly not daily.
'That certainly would put a damper on getting through each
day, but even then, we learn to adjust. I just live my life.'
Wow!!! Very inspiring story. Culled.
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