INTERNATIONAL DAY OF PERSONS WITH DISABILITIES

We all know what to day is. Well if you don't know, it is a day set aside to celebrate and promote the well-being of persons living with disabilities in all spheres of life and all over the world. It is also a day to increase awareness on the challenges and struggles faced in economic, social, cultural and political sphere.

To commemorate what today is, here is a little something for you below: 

Never let ANYONE or ANYTHING define you. When I realized at age 6 that I had a disability and would live with it for the rest of my life, I was confused, I didn't understand because at home, I was a normal kid who was just like everyone else. 

People pointed my disability to me and then the bullying started pouring in. I thought I would never lead a normal life. I wondered how I was going to cope in a "perfect" world. As I grew older, I realized that just because I look different doesn't mean I can't have a good life. I decided to live a good life regardless of my looks, background or circumstances. 

I decided to be more grateful and appreciative of the things I have and the things I can do focusing less on the things I can't do.

When people say I'm strong, I smile because I know that "My strength does not come from lifting weights. My strength comes from lifting myself back up each and every time I fall"

Remember, what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger!

Selah.

#disability #disabilityawareness #myjourney #mystory #sharonifeoma #Sharinglifewithsharon #sharonspeaks #december3rd

GROWING A RESILIENT SPIRIT

"A good half of living is resilience"

Traumatic events can be opportunities for us to grow in strength and kindness. You too can learn from your hardships, frustrations and disappointments to become a better you, become resilient and also help others who are struggling. It is freeing to let go of your numbing inadequacies and helplessness. 

Resilience is the capacity or ability to recover from adversity, toughness and difficulties readily. Isolation and withdrawal happens as a result of individuals trying to avoid disappointments, escaping pain and fears and not believing enough in themselves. We become disconnected and isolated when we do not have the ability to cope with uncertainties, being vulnerable and taking risk automatically becomes a problem.

Isn't it amazing to see people bounce back from life's uncertainties, multiple crises, trauma, fear losses and pain? I'm often left in awe at the level people go not to remain broken, shattered and down. Watching the blossoming of inner strength that shines through people even in their difficult times is wonderful. The power to organize the buzzing confusion and chaos life throws at us sometimes is divine. Indeed the human spirit is a fighter.   

No matter where you are in your journey, the good news is that resilience can be developed. In order to deal with uncomfortable emotions and feelings, our numbing fears and pain, we can develop lasting healthy skills and coping strategies.

I DIDN'T LIKE MY BODY TOO

Hiiiiiiiiii

That's a very long Hi abi? Any way, Today I want to talk about body image wahala lol. You see this photo right here, this was taken back in 2012. I was paid to go to one of the best schools in the world, lived in one of the best apartment in the city center with a beautiful view, I had my own money such that I could buy whatever I wanted, travel and do other stuff. I was working and had love in my life. I was living the life some people my age at the time only dream of. BUT! it was one of the lowest and saddest time of my life. 

I was depressed, sad and I was eating myself to death (comfort eating .... food addiction) whatever you call it lol. Before I got this big, I didn't know how big I had gotten until I posted a photo of mine on Face-book and people started trolling me saying all sorts of things without considering that something might be wrong with me. See people don't really care. They see you in person or in pictures, body shame you, say what they want to say and leave you hurting for a long time. Save yourself darling pay no attention.

You see, my dad was sick. very sick and my family were keeping details away from me, I was lonely, home sick and my grades were dropping rapidly and to make matters worse, it was difficult for me to confide in anyone around confidently about how I was feeling inside. So I ran to food like a lot of us do and made food my best friend because she made me sane and happy.

INFLUENCE: POWER TO AFFECT

An uncle of mine told me to go and get a law degree recently when I told him I am going back to get an MSc. Of course he doesn't mean any harm at the end of the day, he wants the best for his niece. I have met a lot of people who often think of me as a lawyer and I really don't know why. Abeg my people epp me dem dey write lawyer for person face?

I already knew what and who I wanted to become at a very young age but the only problem then was that I didn't have a title or name for it. I love the law profession don't get me wrong but it is not for everyone. I have dunk my feet into the legal profession before but it didn't sit right with me sorry. 

So what is it that you do Sharon?

FOCUS ON THE SUNRISE

A lot of things we do not know nor get to see happen at the background before the sun rises. We only get to see the beauty around us when the sun comes out. During the night time or the dark stage, so many things happen in our lives that most people around us don't get to see. The feeling on loneliness starts to get to you to the point where you begin to feel like there is no head way out of the situation. It could be in business, relationship, career, family etc.

During this times, it is very important to find something in every single day to make you smile. Find something positive to exchange your negative energy with. Somedays, it can appear a little harder to find but there is ALWAYS something and they as little as they are, are the tings that gets you through the tough times.

Beautiful flowers we see grow from the darkest of places this also applies to some of the strongest people on earth, they come from the hardest places of struggle. When you think you are being buried, you are actually being planted. It is an opportunity for you to take root, gain ground and grow for whatever for you end up taking, is dependent on your root.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING SO FAR?

Hiya,

So I googled myself and look what I found??? A picture of myself! Yep. 

I remember going on naija pals back in 2011 when I was in the UK. I signed up there just to be close to home ... watching Nigerian movies, music and news. However, I don't remember using my photo tho but hey I found my picture there, no bad news about me so I'm feeling good. **Smiles**

How are you feeling guy's? No really, I want to know how you are feeling because I just want to know and because it is November. The year is winding down and usually people will begin to take stuck of things.... how the year has been so far for them, their growth process, checking and scrutinizing the ultimate list etc. Some even go as far as feeling unaccomplished just because they were not able to check all the boxes on their list.

ANGELS ARE EVERYWHERE

Helpers are everywhere indeed the only problem sometimes is that we have either lost faith in humanity, lack trust or that e don't just see it. On my way to work, most days, I often see a young boy carrying his younger sibling with disability on his back to school. I am very sure he does this every single school day. How long is he going  to do this for? Will he put a pause on his on life, career and ambitions for life just to care for his brother? 

When I just started school as a child, my parents did carry me to school and bring me back every school day however, they stopped at some point when they found out that it was becoming too tasking. At the time, my parents never had any vehicle so carry me was beginning to way my parents down ( I was very plummpy and weighty) besides, my had to go to work and my my mum had to take care of other things ( siblings and business) so you see?

DEAR SHARON IFEOMA......

Hey guys!

It's my Birthday again Yay!!! Thinking about how old I am really gave me the opportunity to re-evaluate myself, my life and how far I have come. It is a great opportunity for me to really think about who Sharon Ifeoma really is. How I'm living my life, I'm I inspiring, encouraging and touching lives as much I should? I'm I fulfilling God's intended purpose or I'm I just occupying space?

You see, everyday people tell me I inspire them in different ways. The things people tell me via calls, messages, emails etc about how I have touched them positively sometimes scares me. I wonder if all they say about me is all there is about Sharon Ifeoma. 

I know there's more to me than what meets the eye but to be honest, I am scared! Thinking about the ideas I have locked up inside, on paper and vision board scares me to death because I feel like the expectations, responsibilities as well as criticisms will increase. I also know that doing something you love and are passionate about exposes you to fame and limelight, I really don't know if I can handle all the judgement that comes with that territory.   

WHAT IS "NORMAL" ANYWAY?

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about 'Normality'. What is normal anyway? It is so common these days that people feel ashamed to be themselves, they cover their scars and flaws nicely, they don't share their personal struggles so as to feel/be 'normal'.We hide parts of our lives from family and loved ones. Why is that? Well, I'd say because we want to Feel 'normal' ... Be 'normal' and Stay 'normal'. 

You this this photo up there, I would NEVER have shared it for anyone to see because that to me is not 'normal'. It's not just about my slim leg, if I have my way, I would even out my bum too. Insecurity you say? Yeah! try being in my shoes. BUT ain't we all insecure about some things in our bodies or lives? 

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: A PATHWAY TO ACQUIRING DISABILITY

Domestic abuse can happen to anyone, yet we often excuse, deny and overlook the problem of domestic abuse in our society. Most times, the abuse is more psychological than physical. Noticing and acknowledging the signs of an abusive relationship is the first step to ending it.

Domestic abuse and violence are used for one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser uses different means to hold you down. Fear, guilt, blackmail, intimidation and shame to wear you out and keep you down. An abuser doesn't play fair at all.

It occurs within all age range, race and economic levels. Domestic abuse often escalates from threats to verbal abuse to violence.

Set yourself free don't live in denial. Talk to someone you can trust about your situation. Help is always NEAR.

Sharonxxxx

GRIEVING THE LIVING

"Grieving is a Multifaceted Response to Lose.... it is Physical, Emotional, Social ...."

Each time Mum returns home from a hospital visit, she changes to a complete different person. She cries a lot, talks to herself, the sky and anyone around, prays and she would ask questions that makes sense and those that really do not make any sense. My Mum is "grieving the living" ...... My aunt has been very sick for a while now and it's a little complicated. She's been moved from one hospital to another, different test has been carried out, seen by specialist doctors and money .... loads of money have also been spent and well she is still at the hospital and all we family can do is HOPE and pray.

Seeing my Mum grieve her living sister is very unconventional. It's not a situation people often pay attention to or talk about but, if we look deeper, it's happening in our society. It is a real issue faced by real people.

It doesn't make sense to grieve to grieve someone you haven't lost yet as death is often seen as the prerequisite for grieve However, we forget or don't pay attention to individuals who grieve their living loved ones because they are either in pain or helpless / hopeless situation. The situation is like watching your loved one slip away and there is nothing you can do about it.

DEPRESSION IS A WHISPERER

People especially adults often get told to ‘snap out of it’ …. This is easier said than done. We forget that it is extremely frustrating and difficult when an individual cannot fully control how they feel. This is not to say that people who are depressed can’t see any good in their lives or are always sad. It just highlights how bad and dangerous depression can be. Depression is a whisperer. It tells you everything you are not doing right, it magnifies your mistakes and short comings, gives you tons of reasons to be by yourself and to shot people out……. Most times, the voice in your head over powers you to the point where you begin to listen and give in it what it say.

FEEL MY PRESENCE

"When you feel my presence I will live within your soul and consciousness" _SharonIfeoma

The presence of something or someone in our lives has aura, emotion, power and energy that comes with it. everything in this world has energy and that includes inanimate objects. All you need to do is to pay close attention to your feelings and the aura that comes from what draws your attention. 

As an observer, you will be amazed and fascinated at how much information and knowledge you ignore just because you choose not to see beyond what is visible to your eyes and feel the presence and energy a person brings.

I have chosen to re-write my narrative and help others with disability tell their stories as should be told and to help make their presence felt through the things I do. 

Persons With Disabilities are beginning to find their voices and making it heard through their gifts and passion. You now find Musicians with Autism, Cerebral Palsy, blindness, Designers with speech defects, on wheelchairs, facial disfigurement ..... Engineers, Doctors, Lawyers, Artist professionals in various fields of life with different forms of disabilities changing the game in various industries, making their presence felt in more ways than before because it will be a disservice to the disable community if we keep hiding away and letting things go down south. 

KEEP MOVING FORWARD

Our eyes are in front and not behind for a reason. It is much more important to look ahead than to look back. Do not dwell on the things in the past. Learn from them and keep moving forward. -Unknown

No matter where you've been, mistakes made and no matter what you think have gone wrong in your life, keep walking because so many good things are coming your way.

Life is full of ups and downs just like it is full of possibilities. Be curious about the good things that will happen to you soon....... See there's light ..... I can see it and I know you too can.

#motivation #inspiration #encouragement #life #Sharon

PARENTING TEENS WITH DISABILITY

Parenting a child with disability requires special consideration and attention at every stage of life – from infancy through childhood, adolescence and even into adulthood. It is always a challenge for parents to strike a balance between providing all round support, care and fostering independence for their child. To give children with hearing impairment, autism, visual impairment, paralysis, cerebral palsy etc. a comfortable life, parents should critically learn, analyse and study how their child’s development and response differs from children without disabilities.    

It is difficult on a normal day to look after another individual talk less of one with any form of disability. Parents especially mums are sent into a long spiral period of grief and confusion when they get told by a doctor that their child has a disability. From the moment the child is diagnosed, parents begin to worry on how they will begin to care for their child. At every stage of the child’s life, it will appear like you are starting to learn and rediscover your child again.

Teenage hood brings with it added pressure as a lot of parents are confused on how to better handle their child at this stage. It is also difficult for the child because this stage is very key in the development process of the child as he/she want to find themselves and become their own individual without the constant presence and interference of their parents. At this stage, teenagers with disability question everything going on in their body. They want to know why they are different, feel different, look different and behave differently from kids their age. Remember, the brain of teenager’s process information differently from when they were kids so it is a constant battle trying to find themselves.

Disability significantly impact on teenager’s emotional, psychological, physical and mental well-being because disability in itself carry a lot of social stigma that manifest into behavioral issues, low self-esteem and depression.

COPING WITH DISABILITY

Change always happen in life but change isn't the best or easiest thing to deal with in life. It is however, more important to focus on what's best for you in any given circumstance. Having said that, coming to terms with a disability or illness as an individual or a parent is not easy. The change whether sever or mild can take a toll on the individual's live and that of the people surrounding them. 

When an individual who seems to have it all going well for them. Great family, job, friends, business, dreams and aspirations, career, great life etc. become ill or have been in an accident that changed their lives completely, a lot of things can go wrong. Here, the individuals experience physically and emotionally will affect everyone around him/her. It will affect the core of how the individuals being, his/her family, and the way everything will function.

WE STILL NEED TO CREATE MORE AWARENESS

You do have a disability don't you? I queried. Me? God forbid bad thing I am not disabled oo she replied. I wasn't going to let go because I had watched her previously on different occasions struggle to lift stuff off the ground. I asked we sit over drinks and have a chat and she obliged. 

On the day, we talked over drinks and she opened up to me about her chronic back pain. The pain was diagnosed over 5 years ago and she has been taken medications for it. she goes for medical checks once in a while. 

Ada knows that something is not right in her body, she is very much aware of the limitations her pain she faces when working however, she has refused to acknowledge that she lives with a disability. According to Ada, she doesn't look it and no body would believe her if she mentions it. 

Invincible disabilities or hidden disabilities are real. These kind of disabilities are not immediately apparent. the kind that society has refused to acknowledge it's presence in an individuals body and it'd debilitating effects on the individual.

UNEXPECTED REALITIES DISABILITY BRINGS

Hey guys,
Today I'll be talking about unexpected realities of persons with disabilities live with.

As much as we have lots of myths and misconceptions that are not necessarily true about persons with disabilities, Persons with disabilities live with certain realities people generally do not pay attention to.

People take for granted the little privileges of doing certain basic things for themselves because they feel it 'normal' to ordinarily do those things.

I am dressed to go out but here I am seated, hands on my chin because I am painting a mental picture of how my day would go and most importantly, how I will overcome the barriers that I'm yet to face.

Lets start with my prep stage:

WHAT DO YOU SEE AND BELIEVE IN 2017?

Hey guys?

'Wonderful things starts to take place when we are in a state of appreciation and thanksgiving'. Pondering on this statement makes me remember a lot of things in my life and certain levels I went through in 2016.

You see, life is filled with loads of what I would like to call 'evidential facts' (It's not in your dictionary) basically they are facts that comes with some form of evidence ..... the type that waves at you to say look, I'm here!!! They come so real that you can't get them out of your head.

Evidence that says oh you are lonely ... you got no man/woman to love, your bank account is in red, you don't have a job ....... I know that these are facts to life but I also know that what you believe about those facts and how you choose to act on it is totally up to you. Again, your response and interpretation to the issues of life that happens you, is very important.

KILISHI JOLLOF RICE

Hey guys!!!

Today I want to share with you this special dish!!! Yea! 

So my little sister returned from our Nation Abuja and brought us so many goodies :-) ..... Kilishi is one of the many things she came back home with. My parents, sisters and brothers ate theirs but as a foodie that I is naa, My mind was racing because I wanted to utilize the 'kilishi' very well lol.

DISABILITY AND EMPLOYMENT INEQUALITIES

Hey guys!!!

Happy new year everybody. It's been a very long time since I last made a video ..... Hmmm I know but I am back all things being equal 'fingers crossed'.

I hope you have a great time during the holiday season and you and your family are all well?

So here is a new video, I hope that this topic rings a bell and would cause us to stop and think more about the welfare of the non-traditional people out there.

Businesses, Organizations as well as government establishments are still discriminating against Persons Living with Disability in Nigeria. For  varieties of reasons, these discriminatory acts against disabled workers and those looking for work still exist. I am on a mission to promote hiring of the disabled and to improve on policies and barriers, dispel myths and encourage inclusion in the world of work.

Sharonxxx